There are days when I can't stop writing. I fall alseep the night before dreaming about waking up to begin writing. I walk around all day, repeating lines to myself so that I don't forget them, haphazardly writing things down on slips of paper and stuffing them in my pockets, or if I'm out at the grocery store or some other place, I tap away making notes on my phone to be emailed later. These days are awesome and I feel like I've accomplished something. Even if no one else ever read any of the day's words, I'd still feel good.
Then there are days like today, where the ideas are all stillborn and nothing flows. Projects with deadlines rapidly approaching or disappearing behind me. On days like today, my laptop and notebooks sit halfway across the floor, leering at me. I can only stare at them. We dance in a twisted kind of deadlock and nothing gets resolved. When everything flows, tomorrow is a kind of promise of excitement, but here, the torture shows no sign of abatement. It's all a struggle. Nothing satisfies and I second-guess every word and every thought.
If I had a better system, maybe it'd be different.
All I know is that right now, I wish I could just wrestle these words in some kind of winner-takes-all cage match and be done with it.
