Friday, December 23, 2011

At the Republik, A Special Education

There's a couple of places in A Special Education where the historian in me is forced to take a little nap. I talked earlier about the Wagbeard concert being a few years too early, something I'll probably change, but there are others that will remain. For example, I remember wandering around downtown Calgary during my first summer as a parking lot attendant and seeing gig posters for Nirvana at the Westward Inn (although its the Republik that Jack and Isabel visit). Nobody knew who they were at the time, and I think it was rumoured that twelve people showed up. I know two guys who claimed to have been there, and they say they only came to see Dave Grohl who they admired from his time in Scream.

I have a moment where Jack takes Isabel to go see a local band she's been dying to meet. They're opening for Nirvana and the place is empty. The teens are there to meet the local band during sound check and when they arrive, everyone is ignoring Nirvana.

I once read an interview with Bob Mould in which he said the first time he saw Nirvana was in Canada, as they "unleashed Endless Nameless on an unsuspecting audience", so in my mind, this is the song the band is warming up with as Jack and Isabel arrive.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Party Scene, A Special Education

It's odd, I'll admit. I was never a big fan of the Smashing Pumpkins when they first came out. More neutral than anything else. However, one night back in 1997 I came home from a late night working in the parking lot and this video was on. I immediately sat down and wrote "Labellypock", my first short story in a long, long time. It wasn't meant to describe what happens in the video, it's just there was a lot of overlap between what I saw, and what I had experienced with my friends in junior high and high school. Set in pre-boom Calgary, with most of the city still mired in recession, "Labellypock" was about a kind of fin-de-siecle party featuring the "naked and the bored". It ended up winning me a small writing contest in university.

Fourteen years later, this video is still as evocative for me. The excerpt from A Special Education that I posted awhile back, which features it's own take on my early nineties party scene, once again leaned on the Smashing Pumpkins to help unlock those memories and experiences.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Long Road Back, A Special Education

In my younger days, I made the 12 hour drive from Calgary to Vancouver to watch bands play many times, often in considerably less time. Usually I stayed with family and visited for a few days, but one time we drove in to see Radiohead and stayed out at the Jericho Beach hostel, hoping to avoid all family since our turnaround time was pretty quick.

The idea for the trip that Isabel, Jack and company actually take came from a former student of mine. The first high school I taught at did take the senior physics class on an overnight trip to West Edmonton Mall, and one of the girls in my homeroom went skiing instead.

Since the kids happen to run into the mysterious Mr. Sinclair at the Pixies concert they've traveled to see, here's a song I imagine he would have enjoyed the most:



This particular song doesn't actually feature in A Special Education at all:



But it did encourage me to watch this movie, which did lead to a tellingly moment as the kids make their way back to Calgary.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

On the Lam, A Special Education

There's a moment in A Special Education where the kids have run away to go see a rock concert. The morning of the show Isabel and her friend are standing on the beach and she whispers a secret to him that was inspired by this song.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Isabel's Theme

The early 1990s saw a surprisingly large increase in violent crimes perpetrated by girls.This is part of Isabel's milieu.

Despite the numerous fights she gets into herself, the guitar part in this particular song always seemed to me to be the sound of Isabel laughing.



You can hear and buy more from Superchunk here.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Local songs, A Special Education

(I believe you can download all of this stuff from the Calgary Cassette Preservation Society in one form or another.)

With music playing such a pivotal role in my writing process, it should be no surprise that A Special Education is awash in it. In fact, one of the very first interviews has a character reference his fear of getting beaten up by punks on his way to and from school, a fear that many kids on my block had, largely because of the influence of bands like Beyond Possession.



I love this gritty video of them performing in the neighbourhood of Pembroke, not far from where I (and Isabel) grew up. It's also just north of where Jack and Isabel's classmate Chris was from, a place called Forest Lawn, the same community I saw my first concert in the park, featuring three of Calgary's pre-eminent bands of the early 1990s, Wagbeard, Field Day, and Primrods. It's a similar version of this concert (except at the more genteel location of Prince's Island Park) that Jack, Isabel, and Chris first meet each other, although they don't really know it. 

Here's an imaginary set list for that concert:




Piece of trivia: Isabel's math class on her first day of high school is drawn almost entirely from my own, with one little exception. Whereas the character of Chris arrives wearing a D.E.D. Souls t-shirt (from which Wagbeard emerged but not until a few years after A Special Education begins so that reference might change), I believe my friend on whom I based Chris in this scene (and who later went on to develop guidance systems for missiles, or so I'm told) wore an AC/DC "Raising Hell" t-shirt on the first day, and a D.O.A. shirt on the second. The D.E.D. Souls came third.

Bonus: A Special Education ends with a line stolen from a split Wagbeard/Primrods 10" from this era.

(Again, I believe you can download all of this stuff from the Calgary Cassette Preservation Society in one form or another.)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Jack Thomas, A Special Education

As much as Isabel felt that her old life was threatening to swallow her up at the end of junior high, I had always intended for Jack to feel the opposite. While Isabel feels compelled to use her potential to escape her friends, Jack is looking for ways to fit in with the kids around him without realizing that its the same gifts keeping him apart from everyone. When Jack and Isabel meet, part of what attracts them to each other is their background, and videos of late 1980s Fugazi always helped me keep this in mind. Jack wants to be a part of the aggressive crowd. He wants to be the one with his shirt off, body-surfing. Isabel is attractive to him because she's one of the few girls in the audience, and one of the only ones not standing in the back of the room.

"Waiting Room" was a good song for Jack because he also oscillates between these quiet brooding periods of sensitive reflection, and seemingly spontaneous explosions of emotions. Plus, early on, I imagined that it would be Jack who got the job in the parking lot as a means of "toughening" himself up, and this was also one of the songs that I listened to lot while working there myself. Luckily, my wife suggested switching that particular plot point around while the novel was still in the planning stages, yielding a far more interesting story.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Songs for Isabel Walker

I'm not sure who came first, Isabel or Jack, but it's Isabel who ends up dominating much of A Special Education. Since a lot of the book is based on my own experiences growing up in NE Calgary, as Isabel does, there's been quite a bit of interest in the inspiration for this rough-and-tumble girl in the St. Jude's honour class. One of the earliest scenes I wrote featuring her takes place on the last day of school at her junior high. We see Isabel throwing a temper tantrum in her room, for no particular reason, and then shaving off her hair. She knows she's the only one from her school going to St. Jude and really wants to feel like she's leaving everyone else behind with a new future in front of her.

The inspiration for this scene came from my memories of watching Sinead O'Connor perform and the Grammies, right around the time A Special Education takes place. O'Connor's character in "The Emperor's New Clothes" is also trying to navigate a whole new lifestyle and set of expectations, coupled with a fair amount of underlying and unresolved anger. This is very much like Isabel, who enters high school with much promise and hope. As the my writing progressed, I switched this scene with Jack, primarily because the tension Isabel feels between her old neighbourhood and her new one, the conflicting advice she receives from different authority figures as to how to make good on her potential, all became important themes that run throughout A Special Education.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Feist

I think it's no secret to anyone that I listen to a lot of music. I believe I've even shared that Stars' album "In Our Bedroom After The War" was a significant influence on the story of Jack and Isabel, my two main characters for A Special Education and its planned sequels. In fact, most of the ideas that came to me while listening to that particular album are actually for the last book and it took me a whole year to figure out how to begin the first one.

But begin I did and I thought over the holidays I would share some of the music that helped me along the way. Generally speaking, particular songs help to unlock specific scenes; the music creates mental sequences that I try to capture on paper. Letting my imagination drift away was one of the things I used to love about seeing live music.

However, the writing is usually after the fact. I hear the song and then write the scene. Usually with the song on repeat again and again. Today though, I wanted to share something that was a happy coincidence.  One of the themes of this particular set of novels is the relationship between my two main teen characters, Jack and Isabel. in A Special Education it looks, for all intents and purposes, like a love story. As things play out over the next two novels, we find that's not necessarily the case, and it surprised me to hear this new Feist song, as it appears to predict where I wanted to go with them.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Christmas Wishes

My daughter played "Silent Night" on her violin during her school Christmas Concert last week and I was very proud of her. Of course, there was a moment or two where this old Tom Waits' version crept into my head:

Friday, December 9, 2011

Lines I Wish I'd Written

It broke my heart to leave the city,
            I mean it broke what wasn't broken in there already



Thursday, December 8, 2011

A Special Education (excerpt)

I know that things have been pretty quiet in these parts for some time, but only because I've been hard at work on my latest novel, A Special Education, and I thought I'd share a small piece of it. If you've been around my blog a bit then you've probably seen me make reference to this one as A Saturday Afternoon By The Slurpee Machine - back when the story dealt primarily with my own experiences growing up in Calgary's Northeast. Once I started writing though, things went off on a different direction. It focused more on high school. A mysterious religion teacher committed suicide and a bearded guidance counselor in red clogs showed up to interview the kids. Two of them go missing.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

12:41 PM, May 31, 1994 Interview #20

Molly examined the guidance counselor. Her first impression was not to like him. He reminded her too much of her father. The thought prompted her to sit up straighter and cross one leg over the other while folding her hands in her lap. The school official watched all of this over the edge of his clipboard as he ticked off the necessary demographic information on the student profile form.

“How are things at home, Molly?” he asked in a soft voice.

“Shitty,” she grinned, “But you knew that already, so why don’t you go ahead and ask me the real question you’re trying to build up too?”

The guidance counselor smiled. “I just meant how have things been lately? There is a note here in your file that your home life has been difficult, in general, over the last few years, but I was wondering about the last few days?”

“No worse than usual,” she answered curtly.

“I understand you’ve been living with your mother for the last year?”

“The crazy bitch? Yes.”

“Why do you call her that?” he asked calmly.

Molly appeared a little taken aback by the question, “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m just surprised you asked that, but I guess it doesn’t really say in your little folder there and you just assumed I was exhibiting some vestige of teenaged aggression towards my mother for driving my father away,” she chuckled and then assumed an exaggerated matter-of-fact air, “But you’d be wrong. I called my mother a crazy bitch, because that’s what you call a woman who has to go to psychological counseling for emotional and anger management therapy, isn’t it?”

“Hmm,” the guidance counselor added the new information to his chart, “Were you close to Mr. Sinclair?”

Molly shook her head, but the older man noted her red-rimmed eyes suggested otherwise. “Have you been crying?”

The girl paused. A crack appeared in her demeanor and he noticed that her lip twitched almost imperceptibly before she recovered. “No one was close to Mr. Sinclair,” she said, “but he listened. You could go and talk to him. He’d listen to you and be non-judgmental about you but totally judgmental about your situation. If you asked him, he’d walk you through how to weigh your decisions. It often didn’t really go the way you wanted it to go, and if you complained, he just kind of looked at you in a way that wasn’t really non-judgmental but not critical either. Like it was neutral, or impassive, but it was the worst look in the world because he knew you knew what you needed to do and you knew he knew you just wanted someone to say you didn’t have to do it. That look just kinda froze my soul, every time.”

“Sinclair was the one who reported you were drunk at school, wasn’t he?”

She nodded but then also shook her head, “Yes but, technically. I was only technically drunk at school. I wasn’t drinking at school. I only showed up to school drunk, or rather, I showed up still drunk and he had me sent home.”

“Yes,” he affirmed “I have that here. Apparently you were adamant about that fact, even then. This was the long weekend incident you and the other students referred to as ‘the alcoholocaust’?”

“Yes,” Molly answered, looking at the floor.

“Can you describe it to me please?”

Molly laughed sarcastically, “Only what I remember.”

“Who was there?”

“I don’t remember. People were coming and going and I never bothered to keep track.”

“Who did you invite then?”

“Everyone,” she shrugged. “Honours kids, jocks. People I knew from choir. Even those crazy Irish kids that play hurling and ultimate Frisbee in the park.”

“What about Jack and Isabel?”

Molly shrugged again and began describing how Isabel arrived late to the party. The other girl’s shift hadn’t ended until close to 11:00 PM, and it took her awhile to get to Molly’s house by transit. It was now after midnight, and it only worried Isabel slightly that people might have already begun to make their way home. She had come for Jack. Only the dust screen on the front door separated the street from the party. Music wafted loudly into the night air as she stepped inside and over the mountain of shoes. A long flight of stairs led immediately from the front entrance, up onto a second level, emptying out into some kind of area that wasn’t a living room or a study. She cast about for Jack. The room had couches, on which some of the chattier honours girls sat holding pink bottles of wine coolers. The room had no television or books; only a few photographed mementos of mountain hikes, sailboats, and one of Disneyland. Isabel wasn’t exactly sure what one did in such a room. A hallway extended to her right, full of closed doors, the first of which appeared to be a child’s bedroom. She opened the door slowly and saw Lawrence and his girlfriend making out on the bed, next to a pile of jackets. Isabel could never remember the girl’s name, only that Lawrence had met her in his non-honours mathematics class. When she wasn’t around, he constantly made fun of her for still reading R. L. Stine novels. Next, she ran into Dorothy as the girl was emerging from the bathroom and was about to ask if she had seen Jack, but was caught off guard when Sebastian also bumped into her as he too tried to leave the washroom. Noticing their flushed cheeks and rumpled clothes, Isabel tried to dismiss the awkward moment with a laugh, but neither of her two classmates made any eye contact with her, or each other, as they beetled their way back down the hall. The next two doors Isabel discovered revealed more bedrooms in a similar state of intimacy. Frustrated, she retraced her steps back to the stairs and finally recognized a sliding door at the other end of the passage. Initially, she had thought it a linen closet, but discovered it led to the kitchen. Molly was there, standing barefoot on the counter, pouring shots of peppermint schnapps onto a tray of tiny glasses.

“Oh, hi Izzie! So glad you could come. Can I get you something? Do you you want to put something in the fridge?” Molly finished preparing the drinks then turned her back to Isabel, putting the bottle of liqueur away on a high shelf in an open cupboard. Isabel said no, and watched Molly try to negotiate her way off the counter. She counted the number of empty bottles that had collected by the sink and whose presence was causing the blonde-haired girl a degree of difficulty. Isabel calculated that if everyone from the honours programme was at the party, they each would have needed to be on their second or third drink to account for all of the empty bottles. Finally on the ground, Molly blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and then looked at Isabel, “Not drinking? You’ll want to avoid the punch then. Let’s take these downstairs.”

The stairs to the basement were tucked into the back corner of the kitchen and twisted slightly as they descended. Having come up stairs at the front of the house, Isabel tried to make a mental map to account for the seeming fact that the so-called ‘basement’ was simply a ground floor with a glassed-in rear exit to the backyard. She immediately noticed that the music was much louder. Groups of students clustered around each other, yelling over the noise from the stereo, a few on the various couches distributed around the room, others by a pool table standing in the far corner. Another larger group had gathered around the open space in front of the television and appeared to be playing some kind of drinking game. A steady stream of people moved from the basement to the backyard where a fire pit gave off a brilliant and smoky orange light.

“Where’s Jack?” Isabel asked.

“Oh,” Molly replied, offering her tray of drinks to random people, “I think he’s out back on the roof. Sure I can’t get you anything?”

Isabel shook her head again and Molly continued to pass out the rest of her drinks before leading Isabel outside. One side of the backyard, near the fence, had an old wooden playhouse. Despite clearly having had a few drinks she showed the other girl how it was possible to use the playhouse’s window frame to climb onto its roof and from there balance on the fence. Watching her move nimbly in the dark, Isabel remembered that Molly was supposedly some kind of dancer. She also noticed that the fence wasn’t really a fence at all, but a decorative concrete retaining wall wide enough to allow them to walk across it back to the main house and then pull themselves up onto the roof. Isabel saw Chris and Jack halfway up the roof, talking and drinking beer.

“What are you two doing up here?” Isabel asked as each girl took a seat next to either boy.

Jack turned his head quickly to smile at Isabel and she could tell this was not his first beer. “We wanted to go someplace quiet to talk and Molly said there was no place quieter than the roof so up we came. It’s totally a lovely view, don’t you think?” He waved his arm out above the yard. The rear of Molly’s house faced a canyon, below which stood the dense forested canopy of Fish Creek Park. The unlit nature preserve gave off very little light, leaving the only sources of illumination the hundreds of stars visible above them and the small scattering of new residential developments on the far south side of Fish Creek, their distant lights indistinguishable from the pale dots overhead. Jack found it very calming to focus intently on one or two of the stars and feel himself drawn deeply into the surrounding darkness. With the alcohol bubbling through his veins, he could sense himself floating off into the void, the noise of the other kids, the party, the gritty feeling of the roof, would all fall away and it seemed to him like he was drifting alone with only the sound of Chris’ voice to anchor him to the world..

“Yeah, sure, pretty,” Isabel agreed, noticing that Molly had snuggled in close to Chris as if for warmth. She suddenly had the urge to do the same with Jack. Instead she asked, “What are you guy’s talking about?”

“Nothing,” Jack laughed, blinking, trying to re-focus on the stars...

Chris smiled, “Yeah, you know, just life, the universe, everything.”

Molly ran a hand along Chris’ thigh. “I don’t know how you two managed to stay up here so long. I’m freezing. Chris, can you help me inside please?”

Jack and Isabel watched the other two negotiate their descent back onto the grass and inside. Within moments, they were alone. A handful of students sat around the bonfire, throwing miscellaneous items into the fire and drinking. Jack had noticed that they paid no attention to him and Chris, nor did they appear to see the coming and going of Molly, neither with Isabel, nor with Chris. He knew that a lot of his classmates were inside, the alcohol helping them to unleash their pent up hormones. That was one of the reasons Jack had come outside, to avoid the temptations within. He was fairly certain that a more than slightly inebriated Dorothy had made a pass at him and he had no desire to go through another such awkward situation with a girl again. Instead he had spent the last two hours trying to avoid the girls altogether as he waited for Isabel to arrive. Now that she had, what he desired most of all was to reach across and hold her hand, but a large part of him was too afraid to move. A smaller part yelled and called him a coward and urged him to action. Jack and Isabel sat alone together on the roof, staring out into the quiet reaches space, Isabel for her part, enjoying the moment, while Jack engaged in his endless internal debate. He wondered how the stars made her feel. Did she long to join them the way he did, as if they could offer him a form of companionship no else could?

“Are you drunk?” Isabel asked casually, hoping to break the awkward silence that had arisen between them.

Jack lifted his leaden hand and placed it on Isabel’s knee, a move he would have been impossibly afraid to try two years ago out of fear of doing the wrong thing, of misinterpreting her looks her or remarks. He felt rewarded when she put one of her hands on top of his. He smiled, “Yes. I am. Indeed.”

Isabel shook her head, ‘Why?”

“Don’t know. Why not?” He shrugged and swayed a little, “You never drink do you? Why not?”

“My father drinks. My mother drinks. My sister drinks. My neighbours drink. It’s like drinking is a part of where I live and I don’t want to live there anymore.”

Jack nodded. “That sounds about right then.”

“So, why are you out here getting drunk with Chris? I thought you two didn’t like each other.”

“Nope.” Jack laughed. “I get along with him just fine. It’s you that doesn’t get along with him. He’s kinda like me. We get along. We have these little parts inside us that won’t shut up, but we both agreed tonight that drinking helps to quiet the dull roar in our souls.”

“Dull roar in your souls? Which one of you poor misguided poets came up with that line?” Isabel laughed. Jack looked hurt.

“It’s just there’s a part of me that wants to do all these things, but there’s another part that keeps holding me back, too nervous to do anything. So there’s this gulf then, between these two sides, and it feels like they’re inside yelling at each other all the time. Except when I drink. Then everything seems to quieten down.”

“Hmm.” Isabel nodded and held his hand, considering his words. “I usually just punch someone or something when I feel like that. Makes me feel way better,” she stood up and tried to pull Jack to his feet. “But we should get down from here and probably go. It’s a long enough bus ride to the train station already and we don’t want to get stranded.”

Back inside, Jack and Isabel looked for Molly to say their good-byes. She wasn’t in the basement, nor did they find her in the kitchen, where Molly’s choir friend, Ciaran, was busy drunkenly washing dishes. Similarly, while the chatty girls from English class seemed to have multiplied in the awkward sitting room, their hostess was not among them. Jack looked down the hallway and Isabel gripped his hand.

“Nothing but love nests down there,” she warned him with a cautious laugh.

Jack looked pained, his indecision visible. “We should say good-bye. We can’t just disappear. People would be worried or upset.”

“It’s your call then.”

He sighed and swung their joined hands towards the hall, “Onward.”

Isabel shook her head and led him down the darkened corridor. She guessed that if Molly had taken refuge with Chris behind one of the closed doors, she would have chosen the largest room, the one at the end of the hall. She paused before knocking. Molly’s voice answered without hesitation,

“Entrez-vous.”

Isabel pushed the door open and motioned for Jack to enter first. He stopped short, barely past the threshold, causing her to bump into him. She peered over his shoulder, before moving around to a better position. Molly and Chris lay in the large bed, apparently naked, the grey sheets tucked under their armpits and their pale skin contrasting with the dark wooden headboard. Molly looked very relaxed, her hair spreading out on the pillows like an angelic nimbus. Chris barely noticed his friends as he stretched towards the nearby nightstand, fumbling for some cigarettes. He placed one towards his lips, but Molly gave him a playful slap.

“Don’t you dare smoke in my parent’s bed. That’s rude.” She looked at Jack and Isabel and then pretended to yawn, stretching her arms above her head, thrusting her breasts forward. She flipped a section of the covers to reveal the delicious length of her leg and thigh. “I take it you’ve either come to join us, or announce your departure from our little soiree.”

“No thanks,” Isabel answered sternly. Jack remained immobilized by the sight of them. “We’re leaving.”

Cigarette dangling unlit from his lips, Chris raised an eyebrow, “Jackie?”

All the other boy could manage was an astonished, “You smoke too?”

Chris shrugged, “We all need to peer into the abyss from time to time.”

“Let’s go,” Isabel grabbed Jack by the hand and took him from the room.

Molly blew them a kiss, “Thanks for coming.”

“That’s pretty much all I remember,” Molly said, looking at the clock behind the guidance counselor. He stared at Molly the blonde girl. She could tell he had a question in him and decided to head it off.

“Yes, I was drunk when I slept with him. I assume we had sex at any rate since I woke up naked. No, I don’t remember if we used anything in terms of protection, and yes I recognize that would have been a risky and unsafe behaviour to have indulged in, but apparently I didn’t get pregnant so all is good, and no, it’s not something I’m particularly proud of so you can spare me any parental or moral concern you might have.”

“That wasn’t going to be my question, actually.”

“Oh,” she said, somewhat taken aback, but continued with an air of defiance. “Well then, let me just say that I think I continued drinking the rest of the weekend in an attempt to forget about the whole episode. People seemed to know all about it anyways, so I think I just hoped that if I pretended to forget about it, I could pretend it never happened.”

“Why is that?”

“I think some part of me knew it was wrong, that’s why.”

“What was wrong?” he made a mark with his pen. He judged her apparent antagonism as an attempt to defuse her own sense of self-loathing. “You don’t strike me as someone overly concerned about the sin of premarital sex.”

She took a deep breath. The guidance counselor took it as a sign to look for the nearest source of tissues. “It just seemed that Chris was this good kid and I ruined him. I’d never seen him drink or smoke or anything like that before my party. Maybe he wasn’t a virgin, maybe he and Annabel fooled around, I don’t know, but I do know that I woke up the next morning and he was gone. My house was a disaster. The whole thing looked like a film set debauchery and I was the one who had organized it all. I just remember seeing him there that night and I wanted him, like maybe if I had a little part of him inside me I wouldn’t feel this way all the time,” she started crying and the old man passed her the tissue box.

“Feel what way?”

“He just seemed so calm all the time and I wanted a piece of that. I wanted to feel something other than the anger I felt. At my parents, at myself, like I’m just this thing that my parents pass back and forth and show off at parties. I hate them. I hate them both. They make me feel like I’m nothing without them. I’m graduating this year and I’ve no idea what I’m going to do. All the other kids here know where they’re going and what they’re going to do. My mother wants me to study dance, my father wants me in business and I’ve no clue what it is I want,” she shook her head, “Chris just seemed like nobody ever told him where to go, like he had it all figured out on his own. He looked like he had a plan and that’s what I wanted, a plan.”

“Interesting,” he paused and scratched at his neck. “I can tell you based upon my professional experience that you’re not the only one who feels that way, even among your honours class peers. I’m not sure if you’ll believe me, but it’s true. Anyway, you say he had a plan? At any point during your, ah, time together, did he talk to you about this plan of his?”

She lowered her eyes and whispered, “No.”

“Did he give you any indication that he was about to drop out of school?”

“No.”

“Have you heard anything from him since?”

“No.”

“Do you know where Jack and Isabel are?”

“No,” she sniffed, tears abating.

“Would you tell me if you did?”

Molly raised her head and looked at him, her eyes viper black and glistening. The guidance counselor was taken aback by the suddenness and intensity of the blonde-haired girl’s anger. Yet despite her obvious resistance, she calmly and casually tossed her hair, flashing him a sweet venomous smile. He knew her answer even as her lips formed around the single word,

“No.”

Monday, July 18, 2011

What time is love?

Sometime ago I entered that magical part of the year in which time loses all sense of meaning. Weekends blur into weeks bleed into months. I'm in full on summer vacation mode and that means movies, beverages, and most of all writing.

Shortly after arriving back in town from my cousin's wedding in Las Vegas, I vowed to begin writing Novel #2, tentatively titled A Saturday Afternoon By The Slurpee Machine (it will probably change by the time I'm done). I've been collecting ideas for it over the last three years, but really started jotting things down after Christmas when I went to Las Vegas (again, of all places) for the Consumer Electronic Showcase. My goal was to "finish" a first draft by September first - basically the same goal I set for the first draft of Games of Chance last year, with "finish" being defined as roughly 300 pages or 75, 000 words. Games of Chance hit that marker after the long weekend (Sept. 4) but really didn't finish until a week later, tripping the scales at 92,00 words and basically hovering there ever since.

When I got back from Vegas I had only a basic outline of key events and the idea that I wanted to set this up as a trilogy. I'd toyed with the idea of Games of Chance being a trilogy, but haven't really figured out how it would move from one book to the next (in fact, this has led me to put the book down for a bit while I make up my mind). Slurpee Machine however was (at this stage anyways) a much smoother process and the three books will follow the ups and downs of two young Calgarians, Jack and Isabel as they meet and fall in love during their high school years, set during the early 1990s and the massive student walk-out of 1993 (though in the novel I set in spring of 1994). Subsequent books track their ups and downs through university and beyond.

At the time I posted for the Champions League final, I hadn't really committed myself to the process of starting on Slurpee Machine. I had some friends offer to read Games of Chance and so spent some time on that (thanks for all the feedback, btw!). Coming back from Vegas, I had calculated that I needed to average 500 words a day to make my self-imposed September 1 deadline. My game plan was simple, as it always was: wake up at 6:00 AM and try to write as much as I could over coffee before waking my daughter up at 7:30. By the end of June, I had something like 20,000 words down and was way behind on my average.

Luckily, these lazy days have been most conducive to writing and I find myself having crossed the 50,000 words threshold this weekend. Almost 70% of the way towards my target, I'm now making 522 words a day, and this week has been given over to taking taking stock, organizing plot points, amalgamating minor characters, and seeing what still needs to be done (one of the drawbacks of writing in a non-linear fashion is that it's easy to miss things along the way).

I'm looking forward to introducing Jack and Isabel to some of you by the end of summer, so stay tuned.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Manchester United v. Lionel Messi




My daughter and I are settling in to watch the Champions League Final pitting Manchester United and FC Barcelona. It's a match that has divided my household as Lionel Messi, Barcelona's star striker, is my daughter's favourite player (since he and she are both quite small). While Manchester United is not my favourite team per se, their two Champions League victories are among my two favourite soccer memories. The Final in Moscow affected me so strongly that I wrote it into Games of Chance.

More importantly though, today's game is a warm-up to our watching the Women's World Cup of Soccer this summer, an important milestone in helping share my love of soccer with my daughter.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Gil Scott-Heron, RIP

The internet is abuzz with the passing of legendary poet Gil Scott-Heron, one of my favourite poets and musician. In no particular order, here are my top five GSH songs:

Jose Campos Torres (From the Mind of Gil Scott-Heron): it's the way he utters "the dogs are in the street" that grips me still.


Running (from We're New Here, also from I'm New Here [one of my favourite albums last year]):


H2Ogate Blues (from Winter in America):


Whitey's On The Moon (Mixing pop and politics, he asks me what the use is, I offer him embarassment and the usual excuses)


and yes, first and always

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (from Small Talk at 125th and Lexington)

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Primrods, One Night Only

Yes! The Primrods! Legends! One night only! At the Legion. Secret show. I should be there. I want to be there. Check me in five minutes and I'll be there. Half of my radio friends are already there! It'll be like old times. Lemme just bust out this old Chixdiggit shirt.

I'm not going.

I want to be there. I even knew about the show a week or so ago, but I'm at home auditioning for the role of Father of the Year. Tomorrow is my daughter's First Communion and something like sixty members of my family are coming over to celebrate. It's an early morning affair, sure to bring with it lots of photographs, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews, the whole army of Italian relatives. Once upon a time I might have been a scenester and sometimes I still get to pretend I'm a music journalist, but tomorrow I need to be an Italian-Canadian dad and I want that more.

So, instead of heading out to rock n' roll into the wee hours, I'm at home, writing - which is kinda fitting, since that's really how it mostly happened all those years ago anyways.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Away we go?

Gearing for a family wedding this weekend. Shenanigans sure to follow. Bachelor party already in progress - will I arrive to hear tales to rival these?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Song of the Day: Timber Timbre, Black Water

Because here in Calgary, underneath all this snow, we haven't seen the sun in days.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Song of the Day: Kid Koala, Moon River

Once upon a time, long ago, I had Kid Koala on my radio show, and he was a lot of fun. He blew my mind when Scratchhappyland came out, and this afternoon, he's doing it again.


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Songs of the Day: Holy Fuck, Frank Turner

I'm sitting all alone in my office this morning, totally rocking out to this little ditty:


Here's a bonus:


Oh, and did you notice that guy in the crowd with the Frank Turner t-shirt? Yeah, I picked up his First Three Years compilation this weekend and it's been getting some heavy heavy rotation on my ipod. I picked out this particular youtube video because he picks up on a theme that I used to dwell on back in my radio days, namely that the real costs of Ralph Klein's erosion of social supports for young people will only makes itself truly known once these people are older. The Klein generation is just finishing coming of age now, and all those comments about their rampant apathy? Where do you think that came from? Frank Turner explains:

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Slainte to all you Irish girls and boyos!




1. When I was a kid, I thought Brendan Behan was a total bad ass. I was defenseless against his charm and specifically his wanton, drunken, supposed irrationalism. That he’d been jailed for revolutionary activities with the IRA only added to his allure. He was the perfect antidote to my rigid and very intellectual high school education. Behan's behaviour, like Jackie Gleason's, was largely irresponsible and self-destructive, but when I was young I just wanted to be that bold, though all my education trained me otherwise.

2. I’m about as Irish as Wayne Gretzky’s Belarussian, maybe even less so, but growing up I wanted to be Irish. I wanted it real bad. I guess it’s to be expected with an Irish first name, but I also wanted to be a writer. I was inspired by reading James Joyce’s Ulysses to write my first novel, at age 18. It dealt with parking lot attendants, Calgary’s run-down Victoria Park neighbourhood, and took place, like Ulysses, within a 24 hour time frame.

3. I was once given an opportunity to go to the local Fine Arts school for acting, but turned it down in favour of my crushingly academic path, so that it’s Jackie Gleason in the photo below doesn’t hurt. That his family, like my own, hails from Cork, is even better.

4. The Pogues’ song about the Irish-American experience, “The Body of The American” has always and immediately reminded me of my own past growing up as an Italian-Canadian, perhaps indicating just how much the two immigrant experiences overlapped.

5. So in typical Brendan Behan fashion, let's all disappear for an hour or so and then reappear only to act opposite to whatever state we were in, charming everyone in the process.


Slainte!



Saturday, March 12, 2011

Bookcase Fort


Yeah, if this was around when I was 10, I don't think you would have seen me for days...

For the full story, check out Oddee.


Friday, March 11, 2011

Straight to Hell Returns

Hmm. No sooner do I reminisce about Alex Cox's Straight to Hell than I discover it's been re-released (with extra footage to perhaps straighten out that narrative).

Here's the trailer. Looks way better than that grainy VHS copy I had, gorgeous in fact.


You can also check out a brief interview with Alex Cox talking about the new version.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Black Keys v. The Pogues


Take a moment to gander at one of the latest musical offerings from The Black Keys.


Yes, it's an homage to grindhouse films, but more importantly, it's a wink and a nod to one of my favourite films, Alex Cox's Straight to Hell featuring the likes of Joe Strummer, Elvis Costello, Dennis Hopper, Courtney Love, and famously, the Pogues as t
he deadly McMahon Clan. It's a great little film (though you mustn't let a little thing like a narrative keep you from enjoying it).




Monday, March 7, 2011

How to Avoid Traffic Jams



I saw this earlier today from Guy Kawasaki's Alltop and it's proof that my interest in parking lots has expanded to include traffic. Here are my top five suggestions to avoid traffic jams (some of which are listed below as well):

1. Live closer to where you work.
Some people consider this a luxury, but in reality it's about better urban planning. People shouldn't have to criss-cross the city twice a day.
2. Carpool. During the last major survey of car ridership (the 1990s GoPlan), vehicle occupancy was 1.1 passengers per vehicle. More people per car = less cars on the road.
3. Do not change lanes unless absolutely needed. As the graphic below explains, changing lanes is one of the leading causes of congestion.
4. Avoid left turns. It might appear to take longer but that's not always the case. Plus it cuts down on spillover from the lefthand turning lane plugging up approaching lanes.
5. Work off-hours. There's not a lot of compelling reasons for everyone work within the same eight-hour window, especially with the rise of globally decentralized office work.



Sunday, March 6, 2011

James Blake, The Wilhelm Scream

In their review of James Blake's self-titled debut, Pitchfork mentioned that Blake could be among a new crop of singer-songwriters to merge the bleeding edge of electronic music with traditional singer-songwriter tropes. It's a fair enough assessment, given that triphop is approaching twenty years of age as a genre (making it almost as old as James Blake) and there are those who trace dubstep, drum 'n' bass, and all forms of house music back even farther.

It will be interesting to hear what happens next.


Speaking of singer-songwriter electronic music collaborations, I wonder what Justin Vernon is up to these days?


Also, in case you're wondering what a Wilhelm Scream is...

Friday, March 4, 2011

Time, the Avenger and Devourer of Worlds

I'll be the first to admit that these are not the happiest of times inside my head. Yesterday I blamed my writing for taking me to places that tire me out emotionally. However if I'm truthful there's more to it than that. While I usually keep dayjob things to the fringes, I can't avoid the fact that my time in my current organizational role is coming to an end. There's a lot of uncertainty as to where I'll be posted (though thankfully it's certain that I will be posted somewhere) but the ramifications could end determining where I work for the next few years.

As soon as you start talking about things in terms of years, it starts to put other things into perspective - I mentioned on twitter earlier today that my online reading queue has 373 books listed as waiting to be read - most of which I can access readily. I currently read approximately 24-30 books a year, which I consider a good rate, but relatively inadequate to the task at hand. Assuming I can maintain that pace, and only add 10 books a year to my waiting list (woefully underestimating the amount of material I've racked up in the previous 10 years), it will take me anywhere between 12 and 22 years to catch up on my reading.

Let's not talk about the 800 films in my movie queue.

Nor the notes and sketches I've been developing for six novels.

It's hard to avoid the realization that even if I've only (and extremely optimistically) lived 1/3 of my life, I've probably already mentally made more plans than I can reasonably accomplish before I finish the other 2/3 of it that brings me to further realize what it is that I fear most: running out of time.

I'm not afraid of trying and failing, I'm afraid of never having the chance to try and fail, of just not getting around to it and putting things off, though increasingly it looks like I'm just burying myself under a pile of things.

I suppose I need to discriminate better.

(I've been listening to a lot of new Gil Scott-Heron remix album lately and that hasn't helped, especially "Running" with the lines:

To be running and not in fear
Because the thing I fear cannot be escaped, eluded, avoided,
Hidden from, protected from, gotten away from,

)



Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Words and Music (and Memory)

I've been doing a lot of writing lately. The good old hide in a corner pen and ink variety. Even though what I'm writing is fiction, a lot of it is inspired by ideas or experiences I've had, since Games of Chance has been inspired by my family, and the new novel is set in high school and based in part on my time at the Stampede and CJSW. Further, given that I listen to a lot of music, and listen quite constantly, I'm in the habit of using particular songs as a memory trigger, either because they remind me of a feeling or specific moment, or else I listened to it a lot during the time frame I'm trying to remember.

So yesterday's news that Tom Waits was going to be inducted into the rock n' roll Hall of Fame led to a lot of YouTube video and ultimately, stumbling across this particular Tom Waits tune. I played a lot of Tom Waits while in high school and working in the parking lot. I loved his narratives and characters. I don't remember connecting to any of these songs on an emotional level, but this time, hearing "Tom Traubert's Blues" dredged up a lot of old feelings and memories, particularly about some of the sadder moments I had been trying to figure out for the new novel. Writing those scenes while listening to this song (on repeat I might add), made me so depressed, I couldn't help but wonder if anyone would want to read it when I'm finished.

Hopefully it comes off better to strangers than it does to me.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Dispatch from the New Digs

The last two months have been quite busy, I must say, so apologies to those happening by looking for some interesting tidbits. I've moved, attended the Consumer Electronic Showcase in Las Vegas, as well as organizing inservices at my day job. February has found me presenting at the Teacher Convention but also somehow managing to resume swimming a few times a week.

Most promising though has been the fact that I've finally conquered a particularly troublesome plot restructuring in Games of Chance and am in the process of finishing revisions on the final chapter. I'm also considering a slight modification that could result in the formerly lost Russian chapter finding it's way back into the novel. I'm pleased to see that so many of you have stopped by to check it out.

Thus, it makes me happy to announce that while in Las Vegas, and taking a temporary break from Games of Chance, I started formal work on my next novel-in-progress. It had been originally planned as a love story based on growing up in Northeast Calgary, but it seems to have taken on a life of its own. It focuses more on my time at Calgary's downtown St. Mary's High School. It's still a love story, but the plot centers around the disappearance of the two lovers in the wake a teacher's apparent death. I'm over fifty pages in and hope to have a first draft done by summer.


Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Story Behind "Common People"

Seriously? They made a documentary about this? My productivity is going down for the next half an hour or so.

The Decline of British Sonic Power?

Proof that the reign of Cool Britannia is over and the decline has set in.

Exhibit A: Pulp, circa 2002


Exhibit B: British Sea Power, circa 2011

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Work in Progress: Trashcanned Chapter

Here's a whole chapter from my novel that I've cut out. It's a victim of the re-writes and now no longer fits. It also contains a scene that was part of the original inspiration for the whole work, so it feels hard in admitting that I'm not going to develop it any further. It just don't belong any more. But here it is, as it existed after the first draft. Maybe when all is said and done I can turn it into a stand alone short story. We'll see. Enjoy.

The Game of Chance

Initially I thought that I would be in Moscow for almost a week, and I had visions of criss-crossing the city to visit the monolithic industrial facilities leftover from the age of command economies. I hadn't counted on travel and time zone changes. Despite leaving Calgary early on Monday afternoon, Vassily and I did not touch down in Moscow until Tuesday evening. It was a bit of a shock to my wife and I when he knocked on our door, town car waiting at the curb, to ferry me away. I explained his presence away as one of the perks of my new position, though I guess I really ought to have expected his appearance. Moscow was a long ways away, and there wasn't much to stop me from disappearing somewhere halfway in between, even though such a thing was far, far from my mind. But with our layover in Frankfurt, Vassily would make sure that I arrived when and where I was supposed, and I thought to myself, he would also help prevent me from getting lost. The last thing I wanted was to have travelled all the way there and then end up missing Gregorii because I had wandered down the wrong street, so part of me was thankful for Vassily's company.

There was an email waiting for me on my phone when we checked into the airport lounge in Frankfurt. Vassily ordered a beer as I logged onto the complimentary wi-fi to find that someone had finally bid on my grandparents dolls and trains. I contacted my cousin Samuel, hoping that it would be easier for him to travel to Vancouver from the logging camps to organize the packing and shipping. I felt hesitant to reveal how much the collections were netting. On the otherside of the world, Samuel was ecstatic at the news. One look at my Russian companion however was more than enough to quash any such feelings I might have had. I should have felt an immense relief instead I felt numb all over.

Vassily shepherded me through the Moscow airport upon touchdown. With only a few days on the itinerary, I had packed light again, allowing us to skip the baggage claim area and head straight for the passenger pickup area where Gregorii's car was waiting. Inside the sleek Mercedes town car, Vassily informed me that rain was expected for later tomorrow, clouds were already gathering in the greying skies. I went over the elements of my plan. Instead of investment money, I would offer Gregorii purchase orders, made by the Mother Corp. I would use my new position to requistion the goods. The only problem was that I still could not remember what it was that Gregorii and I had talked about investing in. I wanted to have more of a plan, so I could appear more confident in my approach. My online research into Eco-Muscovy Ltd. revealed a diverse group of holdings, from wind-powered electricity generation, to industrial utility meters, and even recycled kitchenware.

Sooner than expected we were at the hotel, an imposing edifice reminiscent of something out of a Bond film. Vassily whisked me inside while a doorman retrieved my bag from the trunk. I stood in the marble clad lobby, staring at the dark wood trimmed fixtures and paintings of historic Russian personages, a sense of the unreal gathering around me.

Vassily took a key from the desk clerk and then spoke to the porter, who nodded and headed towards the service elevator. "Alexei will take your bag to your room. Gregorii has one of the private dining rooms booked to welcome you. Come."

Escorted down the hall by the desk clerk, we emerged at a small conference breakout room lined with linen tables. Along one wall, a full assortment of appetizers was arranged around an elaborate large silver vessel. My initial thought was that Gregorii had somehow arranged for the Champions League trophy to be present at our meeting, but I quickly remembered the smooth rounded shape of the trophy looked very little like the object I was staring at. The thing on the table was a cross between a fountain and a cauldron, with no obvious handles, just many thin arms. It reminded me of some of the art deco-inspired espresso machines I had seen in Italy.

"This is a samovar," Vassily laughed, picking up a cup and saucer from the table and giving it to me. He took another for himself and pressed down on one of the arms, releasing a spigot to allow a flow of coppery liquid to fill his cup. "For tea."

I followed suit with my cup, adding to the saucer one of the finger sandwiches laid out delicately on a plate before. Vassily picked up a bowl of stir sticks and offered me one to me. I was surprised to see a clump of sugar crystals at the bottom. Vassily smiled and brought the bowl to a nearby table. He sat down and placed the sugar lump between his teeth and sucked back on the tea. "Russian tea is very strong. Tradition is to hold the sugar in your teeth like this," he made the sucking motion again, "to sweeten the taste."

I sipped the tea once without the sugar and it was incredibly bitter, with a mossy, almost peaty after-taste, like scotch. I did my best to hold the sugar as Vassily did, and proceeded to make a horrible slurping sound that I was afraid echoed throughout the room and back out to the front desk. Vassily laughed. I tried again, but did no better and contented myself simply to stir the remainder of the sugar into the tea. We had a few of the pastries and cakes and then Vassily motioned back towards the door, where a porter beckoned. He took a final, long, drag from his cup and then placed it back on the table.

"Rooms are ready. Let us go. A shower and a shave, as they say," he winked, "Then we meet Mr. Gregorii for proper dinner and talking business."

Vassily and I had adjoining rooms. I felt like I was back in Vancouver and my cousin Jaxon was preparing to bunk with me in the Space. Except this time, there really was concern that I was a flight risk, though heavens only knew where I might be go. I felt certain that the hotel was likely being watched and any attempt to flee out the front doors would only result in physical violence. The room itself was immaculate. I sat on the soft bed, undressing and laying out my clothes for my meeting with Gregorii. I brought the black suit I bought for my Nonno's funeral. I thought it fitting, since I had not ruled out my own funeral as being one of the evening's possible outcomes. There was fine wood desk and chair in one corner, and a sign on the minibar claiming the tiny bottles of alcohol were complimentary. I took one with me into the bathroom, although I was so blown away by the bathroom that I left it sitting on the counter. The general hotel decor, and the room itself, was all brass, gold and wood pre-WWI Belle Epoque Beaux Arts inspired, but my bathroom was a rectilinear modern masterpiece of black granite and white stone. The shower head must have had a diameter on ten or twelve inches and I spent a long time sitting under it's refreshing deluge trying to consider what I would say to Gregorii. I was certain that anyone who could access my passport information to arrange for visas, probably had other information about me as well. He knew I didn't have any investment money. The question was, why was I here at all then. There was no reason to bring me back, especially after I ignored his early overtures. There had been no mention of the incident in the parking lot, which police could have written off as a simple bar room fight. I didn't think the muscle twins killed the man. Plus he had a knife, so there was always a claim of self-defense as well. I told myself not to panic. Strong and silent, Geoff had said of the suit. I really hoped it would work for me tonight.

Vassily was knocking by the time I left the washroom. Hastily, I threw on my pants and answered the door. Vassily saw me and laughed. "Are you done making pretty? Should I come back in an hour?"

I looked at him as I quickly buttoned my shirt. "You'd really come back in an hour?"

He sat on the bed, legs slightly spread. He leaned back on his hands, causing his jacket to open, exposing a new gun sitting in a shoulder holster that hadn't been there on the airplane. It must have been waiting for him in his room. He looked at me, deadpan serious, "No."

I tried to laugh and tie my tie, but was too far from the mirror and too nervous to get the length right. Vassily rolled his eyes and stood up. He picked out another tie from my suitcase and moved around behind me. "Hold still," he said, grabbing my arms and quickly tying my hands behind my back. I think my heart rate doubled as he came to stand in front of me. "I said, hold still." He put his hands on my shoulders and then flipped up the collar on my shirt. He quickly untied and then retied my tie to the right length, pulling loose the tie holding my hands together and throwing it back on the bed in one fluid motion as he walked to the door. "Are you done making pretty? Let's go."

The car ride to the restaurant was quiet. Vassily didn't say much, other than to point out a few key landmarks, as if I was a tourist. The restaurant was small, intimate with delicate tables surrounded by comfortable chairs. The first course was waiting for us when we arrived, as was the wine. Gregorii made small talk, asking about my flight and the hotel, as well as what I thought about Russian tea. Vassily earned a chuckle by relating my experience with the sugar crystals, and promptly offered to fill my wine glass, while Gregorii ran down the itinerary for tomorrow. The soccer games was slated to start at 20:00, but Gregorii recommended that we attempt to arrive at the stadium early. A car would be sent by mid-lunch. The wait staff appeared and disappeared on cue, bringing and removing dishes as necessary. It appeared, to all intents and purposes, like we were the only ones in the restaurant. Gregorii, Vassily, myself, and Gregorii's two giant nephews; one seated on either side of me.

"When are we going to the factory?" I asked, noting that my flight left the day after tomorrow.

"Tonight," Gregorii said, "I thought it best if we went there straight from the restaurant. That way you can think about things and you have a chance to ask questions or negotiate details before you leave while we are at the soccer game."

The factory, a renovated warehouse used to stockpile British tea imports during the nineteenth century, was on the outskirts of town, a long ride through the dark Moscow night. Despite being well-after midnight, a skeleton crew was present, overseeing the assembly line machinery. Gregorii led me around the facility and I went through my standard questions about production methods, supply, inventory, cash flow, etc. Gregorii was quick with answers, but whereas other companies I was sent to investigate were eager to offer audited financial statements to back up their claims, Gregorii merely responded to my inquiries about paperwork with the evasive explanation that the books were not kept on the premises. In one of the conference rooms overlooking the produciton line, there was a model of the solar film assembled. Gregorii walked me through the key differences between his film and a traditional solar panel. Aside from cheaper production methods, the film was more malleable, allowing for greater flexibility in placement.

"So," Gregorii exhaled slowly, "what are you thinking about our proposal?"

"Well," I said, choosing my words carefully, "the technical specs for your product seem comparable to those I've seen for other kinds of solar devices. If you really can produce it at such low costs, then I think you've got the potential for a real winner on your hands."

"You will invest then? Currently we are struggling to keep our costs in check. The price point I mentioned is what we can offer if the factory is functioning at full capacity," he put a hand on my shoulder. "The problem we are having is keeping the factory operating at such a level. This is a critical time for Russia. We want to show the world that we are country capable of running a modern business environment. But many people, like you, still think of us as - how did you say? The home of gangsters and commissars. It is hard to sell to foreigners but we are also having difficulty convincing the Russian people that our solar film is a good choice to use. They seem to think that the famous Russian winter is not so friendly a solar environment."

"Gregorii," I sighed, "I would love to invest. Unfortunately, I must admit that I no longer have any capital on hand at the moment. Fluctuations in the market have temporarily made my funds illiquid." Gregorii and the twins frowned. "However, I will certainly speak highly of your company to others I know, as well as keeping Eco-Muscovy in mind once I find myself in better times."

Everyone took a step closer and I suddenly felt crowded by the four giant Russians. I moved back out of the room onto the metal gangplank. It was a bad decision, and they surrounded me. Vassily reached forward and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked over the edge and watched the machines at work thirty to forty feet below.

"We know all about your financial situation," Gregorii said calmly. "We know you are in no position to do anything. These illiquid assets that you speak of, we know they do not exist. It is your company I am interested in, but I do not appreciate your attempted deception, and certainly expect you to speak highly of us when you return. More to the point however, I expect you to write a recommendation to your company endorsing our solar film. The order from your company will be quite large. It will allow my facility to produce at capacity, marking a first for a Russian solar company. The publicity will be enough to encourage more Russians to buy our product."

I nodded, remembering how easily the twins picked up their parking lot assailant in Las Vegas.

"Good," Gregorii clapped. "To do otherwise would be unwise, I think. Vassily will provide you with proper numbers and information upon your return." He looked at his watch, "It is late. Tomorrow will be a long day. Let us go."

It was a silent drive back to the hotel. I emptied the hotel mini-bar before falling asleep.

The morning of the match, people were everywhere. The night before, as we drove around town from the hotel to the restaurant and to the factory and then back again, the streets were oddly quiet, despite the fact that tens of thousands of soccer fans were pouring into the city from the airport, bus depots and train stations. Apparently savvy travelers had been landing in Riga, the capital of nearby Latvia, and then arriving by train and bus throughout the night to arrive in time for the match. At any rate, I awoke and looked out the window to see the streets flecked with people in red and blue jerseys. The hotel lobby bustled with activity as match day tourists were congregating even here. I was very tired from the night before, and looked around for Vassily to see what was the plan for breakfast. Along the way, I kept an eye out for an espresso or cappuccino. My head was still foggy from the jet lag, tea, wine, and all those little bottles.

The Luzhniki Stadium, formerly the Central Lenin Stadium, and now properly the Grand Sports Arena of the Luzhniki Complex, was built on a finger of land just outside the city centre, in front of the beginnings of the massive blocks of Soviet apartment buildings routinely associated with drab communist architecture. It was surrounded on three sides by the river, and was actually part of a much larger athletic park used for the 1982 Olympics, though the stadium itself was still much older, having hosted the World Ice Hockey Championships in 1957. It had recently been renovated, to demonstrate it's usefulness as a potential showpiece in Russia's bid for the 2018 World Cup. Gregorii was quite keen to fill me on these exciting details, though his demeanor grew dim as he solemnly talked about the deaths of spectators at a soccer match in the 1980s.

Even though it was still hours before the match, our car was little more than crawling along the Komsomol'skiy Prospekt, through what appeared to be a university district, and leading up to the stadium grounds. Gregorii pointed out the many museums and delicate churches dominating the area, their steeples visible every now and then between the trees or rooftops of buildings. Eventually, the streets became so crowded with pedestrians, that the driver was forced to pull off to a side street and let us out. We made the rest of the way on foot, the increasingly carnival-like atmosphere almost taking my mind off the twin ogres walking beside me.

After crossing a major thoroughfare, we entered the park proper, a lush green space with trees and sculptures of people poised in what I assumed were traditional Russian outdoor activities. Gregorii again pointed out the different landmarks, such as the swimming pool, the Olympic offices, and a part of the park that hosted field events in the summer but was flooded in the winter to serve as an outdoor skating rink. The view of the park from the other side of the river, he said, was beautiful, owing to the many lights shining up into the trees and dotting the stadium. We followed the crowd through the park. Things started to slow down as we neared the stadium, and passing through the main ticket gate, with all the people and extra security for the match, was like cuing up in a passport line at the airport. Gregorii and his nephews looked unperturbed by the extensive uniformed presence searching for illicit beverages and presumably weapons or throwable objects. I was surprised at how easily they consented to the pat downs and metal wands. It probably took close to half an hour, merely to cross the fifty feet in front of the entrance and onto the stadium concourse. Once we were in, we followed Vassily who had been delegated to watch for signs leading to our seats in the lower bowl. Little stalls and kiosks filled the concourse, selling posters, programs, jerseys, flags, scarves and more. People were lined up everywhere and now that we were in the stadium, Gregorii's nephews had opened their jackets to reveal Chelsea jerseys and matching scarves. I briefly thought about buying a Manchester United scarf until I realized that I hadn't bothered to change any of my money and it reminded me, despite all the excitement of the match, just how precarious my position was here.

Despite my nerves, I was astonished at how good a view of the field the seats had. I mentioned as much to Gregorii, who merely smiled and patted me on the back. The players, trotting around on the field in various warm-up activities, were clearly recognizable, no longer the little moving dots they appeared as on my television screen. Interspersed between the security personnel lining the edge of the field, were groups of small children laughing, cheering, clapping, and pointing to their favourite players. After some time, the players disappeared back into the tunnel leading to the their respective locker rooms, while stadium staff rushed onto to the field to prepare for the opening ceremonies.

Gregorii picked this moment to lean casually over to me, "I am glad you are enjoying the view and hope that we see a good game today. I want to make sure that there are no hard feelings from last night. You understand, I am a businessman, and based on our last conversation in Las Vegas, I made certain preparations and incurred certain costs that it now behooves me to recoup. I'm sorry to hear about your current financial situation, but I am sure that our strategy will serve both of our interests."

I nodded as it was clear to me that Gregorii's strategy did nothing to advance my career, especially if his solar film turned out to be a bust upon my recommendation. I needed some way to shield myself from any direct association with Eco-Muscovy directly; some way to find plausible deniability in case things went poorly.

He continued talking, injecting a series of forced chuckles between his sentences, "But let's not talk business! We are at a sporting event! Let us be sporting to each other. The last time you and I sat down to watch Chelsea, we had a little sporting wager, no? Perhaps you would like to do the same this time? Give me a chance to win back my money?"

I looked at him, "Gregorii, I would love to, but you know I have no money."

"Come now, let us make a wager," He put a hand on my thigh and I suddenly felt Vassily's weight leaning against my shoulder. "I understand your financial position, and you must not think me some kind of Russian mobster, to put this business deal to you without offering you some kind of compensation or commission. We all hope for those days to be behind us, and so for arranging these contracts on our behalf, I would offer you a commission of fifty thousand dollars per million dollars worth of sales that you generate. You would act as a kind of sales agent on behalf of my company."

"I see - and one million dollars worth of film would, in your estimation, represent a suitable trial-sized quantity of solar film?" I asked, somewhat numbly.

"Why yes, I think it would suit your company's initial purposes adequately, and I have every confidence that you will be able to arrange such a contract," Gregorii smiled. "So you see Allan, you do have some money to place a friendly wager on the outcome of today's match, and what could be more sporting? I see that your man, Hargreaves is set to play, so we have our two sides represented. What say you?"

"I guess," I tried to hide the sinking feeling I had in my stomach. "If you're willing to see me the money until the contracts are signed, I'll take that wager. Last time we bet, what? A thousand dollars?"

Gregorii laughed as the crowd roared it's approval at the on-pitch activities, "Yes, yes, a thousand dollars, but my dear Allan, it was a thousand dollars for a game in England that meant nothing to either team. It seems hardly fitting that if we risked a thousand dollars on such a small game that we would wager the same on a game that would decide who would be the Champions of Europe."

I sighed, a vision of where this was headed forming in my mind, "I suppose so. How much were you thinking then?"

"Let us say, fifty thousand dollars. Should Manchester win, I will pay you your fifty thousand dollars in commission. Should Chelsea win, you will owe me fifty thousand dollars in expenses."

"Wait," I said, even though I understood exactly what was happening. I just wanted to hear Gregorii say it out loud. "Are you suggesting that even if I get my company to accept the contracts with Eco-Muscovy, the only way I collect the fifty thousand dollar commission is if Manchester United win?"

"You understand perfectly," Gregorii clapped, accepting two beers from his nephew and passing one towards me before taking a long pull from his own. "It will make everything more sporting, no?"

"What if Chelsea loses and my company refuses to accept my purchase request?"

He frowned and raised his glass in toast, "Let us not think such dark thoughts. The game is about to start, let us drink to the idea of a great game ahead of us."

We all raised are glasses in salute, as did a few neighbouring spectators, and the Russians all took long pulls from their drinks. Afterwards I stood up and announced that I had to go to the bathroom. Everyone shuffled awkwardly to allow me to pass and I walked the concourse thinking of all the things that Gregorii might do if I failed to deliver on the contracts. Given the terms of our wager, it seemed the only thing I had to worry about was failing to convince the Mother Corp. to follow up on the purchase recommendation. Gladys had expressed some reluctance to deal directly with foreign companies, so I didn't know exactly what I could tell them that would entice them to buy the solar film from Eco-Muscovy. I was pretty sure I could convince them to try out the film, since we had been experimenting with solar panels in one of the other pilot projects I was involved in with the local utility company. Perhaps I could present this as an extension of that, but convincing them to take the risk on from a foreign company seemed high unlikely. I needed some kind of front organization. Inside the washroom, I had an idea.

I called Zahir.

"Zahir, it's Allan," I whispered.

"Hi Allan," he answered cheerfully. "Why are you whispering? Where are you? It sounds like you're in a metal closet?"

"Nevermind. Zahir, what was it you said your new company does?"

"We're working on developing new environmental office cleaning technology."

"Do you actually have a product?"

"Well...like I said the last time we talked, we're working on it, but we're still a few months away from anything marketable."

"Ok. Listen," I said, "I'm with some people here and they're looking for someone to license their product in Canada. I can authorise my company to buy these products from an official Canadian distributor. I just need someone to act as a middleman. Interested?"

"Where are you?"

"Russia."

"Seriously?" he laughed, "What are you doing there?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you about it when I get back. I'll send you the story, but listen, don't go telling the rest of the family about this. This is just something between us for now, ok?"

"Well, I'm still not sure I can convince my partners to do that, we're not really set up to act as a distributor - we're a manufacturing company. There'd be paperwork involved."

"Don't worry about the paperwork, we can take care of that."

"Tell me again why you need a Canadian distributor?"

"My company prefers doing business that way - they seem to think that there's less risk involved if there's another player on the team, to share the risk as it were."

"Well, I'm not sure how I feel about that. Is this on the up and up?"

I shrugged, "Zahir, it sounds like we're talking about millions of dollars here."

His voice changed, "Really?"

"Think about this as a way to get the extra funding for your development cycle. Plus, it'd be an excellent opportunity to establish your company in the field. Once your own product is ready, I can recommend my company purchase some of your cleaner."

"This is legit?" Zahir asked again.

"As legit as anything else, I guess. Are you in?"

"Alright. We'll wrangle out the details when I see you? Next week?"

"Yes."

"Ok, then I'm in."

"Thanks. You're a lifesaver," I said and hung up. I was so excited I almost ran all the way back to our seats, trying to avoid knocking over other spectators.

The Champions League theme song was just finishing and the players were breaking into their formations in anticipation of the opening kickoff. With Zahir onboard, I could present the product as something his company was field testing. Vassily and Gregorii were whispering to each other, but the twins were riveted, awaiting the first movement of the ball. The opening minutes were exciting, as the ball travelled back and forth along the length of the pitch, both sides attempting to establish control of the game and pacing. From where we sat I could see the Chelsea coach standing, frowning, occassionally waving his arms at his players. The Manchester United coach, by contrast, was sitting stoic and composed. He had led his team to these Finals less than ten years ago, while the Chelsea coach had arrived with the team once the season was already underway. It was a miracle that Chelsea had somehow managed to make it to this, their first ever European Final.

Both teams were evenly matched and struggled to push the other around. Suddenly, around twenty minutes in, there was a massive collision between two players. All I saw was a cluster of activity and the referee running towards the commotion. Upon standing, Paul Scholes' the Manchester midfielder's face was awash with blood. The referee immediately issued yellow cards to each player and both team benches exploded in a flurry of protest. The game struggled to return to form in the aftermath of the scuffle with the play wandering around the field. At the Chelsea end, Manchester United defender Wes Brown tossed a lazy ball to the Scholes, the bloodied midfielder, who held the ball at his feet while Brown ran into the open. A light pass from Scholes allowed Brown to move around the edge of the forty-yard box, causing all of the Chelsea defenders to drift towards the two active Manchester players. Brown fired a high cross to the other side of the field where a waiting Cristiano Ronaldo launched himself into the air and headed the ball into the net. The crowd roared to life, cheering and clapping, stomping their feet. Manchester United supporters burst into song and the stadium was alive to the tune of "Glory, Glory, Man United." The twins were cursing loudly in Russian and Vassily was on his feet yelling something at the players. Even Gregorii winced in pain as they brought the ball back to the centre circle. I let out a deep sigh of relief. While the game was a long way from being over, the early lead, combined with the constant flow of beer, did much to help calm my nerves.

Chelsea struck back almost immediately. A fierce shot from forward Didier Drogba was redirected by Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand. Goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar barely managed to keep the ball from crossing into the back of the net. Enlivened by their near brush, Manchester United rushed forward on the counterattack, hemming Chelsea in at every corner. Chelsea rocked under the pressure as the Red Devils had several good chances to score. The Blues were forced to rely heavily on their lanky goalie Petr Cech and the forceful presence of their captain and chief defender John Terry. As the first half wound towards it's close, and the rain began to fall, Chelsea appeared to stumble into a bit of luck. People around us were already standing and making their way to the concourse when Chelsea midfielder Michael Essien fired a fairly routine shot into the Manchester United area, but it took two awkward bounces off of a pair of defenders and fell to the highly charismatic Frank Lampard, who had little else to do but put a boot onto the ball. Edwin van der Sar, lost his footing and slipped on the wet grass while trying to change directions, allowing the ball to roll past him into the net. The crowd exploded. Vassily and the twins were hugging each other, and it was clear from the volume of the noise that the home crowd had adopted Chelsea as their own.

Halftime was painful to endure. There was no way the game could end in a tie. Chelsea's late goal had brought us back to square one. Manchester's dictation of play in the first half almost had me believing that I might be able to leave Moscow alive, albeit owing my livelihood to a Russian mobster. Now everything was up in the air again, and as the clock ticked towards the start of the second half, I felt my stomach rising in my throat.

The resumption of the game did little to improve my spirits. The cups of beer were replaced by the warmth of Russian tea, but Chelsea's quick play left me cold. Manchester United appeared off-balanced and still shocked by Lampard's first half injury-time goal. The Blues used their momentum to press and with every surging attack, I felt the contents of my stomach do likewise. There were moments when Manchester rallied and inflicted a couple of lashing plays that only the brilliance of Petr Cech managed to keep from turning into goals. Still, the best chances of the second half came from striking Chelsea players like the commanding German midfielder Michael Ballack and the sensational Didier Drogba whose long range volleys, under pressure from the solid Manchester defenders Rio Ferdinand and my own fellow countryman Owen Hargreaves, failed to find the mark.

The rain continued to fall, with patches of water starting to surface on the pitch. In the stands, we were huddling closer as the night wore on and the temperature fell. Hot cups of tea were ubiquitous at this point, as was adding vodka for extra warmth. My stomach lurched with every Chelsea attack while my head swooned with every Manchester counter. At the 77th minute of play, I saw that Manchester was going to take off bloodied midfielder Paul Scholes in exchange for speedy winger Ryan Giggs. Memories of his electrifying end-to-end run to score the game winning goal in extra-time against Arsenal, sending Manchester United to the FA Cup finals in 1999 set my heart racing. Sure enough, less than ten minutes later the entire stadium screamed out loud, half in delight, half in agony, as the Manchester attack caught Cech out of position and Giggs' ball was barely blocked away by John Terry.

Regulation time ended a few moments later and barely anyone in the crowd moved from their seats during the five minute interval before the start of the two halves of extra-time. I could barely watch. As the game resumed, I looked around for a clock; it was so dark and cold I felt surely we were approaching midnight. The players however, showed no signs of slowing down. If anything they appeared more energized than ever. In the past, I had observed teams playing a tentative and conservative style in the extra-time, as if they were waiting for the on-set of the penalty kicks. Tonight however, both teams came roaring off the benches like punch-drunk fighters looking to win with a knockout punch. Despite the flurry of activity at both ends of the field, the first and only real chance in the first half came from Manchester United, as once again, Petr Cech found himself on the wrong side of the field as the ball fell easily to Ryan Giggs, but once again, Giggs was denied as his ball was headed off the line by a diving John Terry. As Terry picked himself out of the mud, I was sure I was not alone in yelling out vodka-infused curses at the Chelsea defenseman.

During the second half, players on both sides started experiencing bouts of cramp and although the game appeared ready to ebb, it was exactly at that moment that passions bubbled over into a violent scuffle involving all twenty-two players on the field. At the time, no one had any real idea what had happened. Squinting through the rain, all we could see was the referee issuing star Chelsea striker Didier Drogba a red card and the prolific Ivory Coast goalscorer walking sullenly off the field. Afterwards, we found out that apparently Manchester United striker Carlos Tevez had played the ball unsportingly forward after Chelsea had stopped play to treat players for cramp. Enraged, Drogba had slapped Tevez, prompting the ensuing melee. The affair seemed to knock both teams off their focus and the clock ticked ultimately towards midnight and penalty kicks.

Technically, the sending off of Drogba benefited Manchester United in the penalty kicks, however it gave me no comfort to watch the players huddle and then move to their positions. The thought that my fate was now tied to the muddy white penalty spot was too much to think about. The first two kickers for both sides scored easily on their attempts when the unthinkable happened. Cristiano Ronaldo, scorer of the games opening goal, Portugal's prized crown prince of soccer, fluffed his ball and Petr Cech easily picked it off the ground before it ever reached the goal line. Frank Lampard, himself having drawn Chelsea level earlier in the game, casually put his own ball in the back of the net, giving the Blues their first, and most important, lead of the game. I felt light-headed. Gregorii and Vassily eached gripped my shoulders and pointed to the field. The twins were yelling something in my face. In my mind, the game was over, but I tried to focus on what was happening. I looked up in time to see former Calgarian Owen Hargreaves take his position and launch the ball into the net. I cheered half-heartedly although my Russian companions cheered and clapped on my behalf. As Petr Cech rolled the ball back to the penalty spot and traded places with Manchester keeper Edwin van der Sar, I knew the game was over and so did the Chelsea players. Ashley Cole scored and Nani responded for Manchester United, but Chelsea still had one player left to break the deadlock. My whole body felt numb as John Terry, the man who had single-handedly denied Manchester United two game-winning goals, placed the ball and readied himself in the rain. He took a step forward and I felt the weight of the world crashing in on me. Then everything burst into noise and people were on their feet.

John Terry had slipped in the mud. His ball wobbled harmlessly away.

I looked around. Gregorii, Vassily and the twins were in agony, yelling empty oaths into the air. The game moved into sudden death. The first team to fail to equalize would lose. The Brazilian Anderson opened this second round of scoring for Manchester, while Didier Drogba's fellow countryman Solomon Kalou responded for the Blues. Ryan Giggs added another for the Red Devils and I felt a spring of hope for the first time since Frank Lampard scored in the first half as I watched Nicolas Anelka walk to the spot. Anelka's track record was poor, and as I had seen him do on many other big game occasions, he calmly and coolly kicked the ball right into the waiting hands of Edwin van der Sar. The Manchester United players burst from the sidelines hugging and cheering each other. The crowd exploded in song. They had won. I had won. I felt like I was floating in air. The medal presentation was a blur, as was the slow progress down the stairs and out of the stadium. In my mind, all I could see was John Terry falling and my spirit lifting.

The streets were wet and slippery after the hours of rain, but the crowd didn't seem to mind. It allowed itself to be carried along, following the streams of cigerettes and garbage floating down the sidestreets after the match. There was a wildness about the night, now that the game was over. Many of the people on my side of the room were still singing, periodically earning a rebuke from another group passing somewhere behind it. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, but many of the men and older boys stumbled out of the pubs and swung care-freely from the street lamps in their replica jerseys. The puffy jester hats, so common on the boulevard during the lead up to the game, had disappeared with the onset of the rain. The street itself was dark, lit more by the headlights of motor scooters and road flares than street lamps. I barely recognized it as the same road. I emerged from the stadium onto a narrow alley, but the crowd swept me up back to the main boulevard. Store windows I had meant to grace with a second look hours earlier were now covered by thick iron shutters.

I felt happier and more alive than I could remember being for a long, long time. The rain felt refreshing and I wanted to sing along with the crowd, but contented myself with the occasional shout or yell. My companions were more subdued, though Gregorii kept smiling, clapping me on the shoulder every few minutes as he shepherded me down the street and periodically offered me more vodka. His nephews followed at our sides, creating a little pocket of space in the dense crowd. Somewhere they had a car waiting to take me back to the airport.

Now, we were seated in the car and I felt the warmth emanating from the heated seats. Gregorii seemed non-plussed about the loss, neither by Chelsea or of the wager. The promise of a business entry into Canada had warmed him on the chilly walk back to the car. Now, en route to the airport, he sang snippets of songs, and congratulated me on my winning.

"Your Canadian did you good tonight! You should be proud. Canada is a great place to live. One day, maybe I will go there too - lovely to visit, I went once, long ago, on business."

"Really? Whereabouts?"

"Vassily has cousins that moved to Montreal at the end of the 1980s, but they now live in Vancouver. Vancouver is much better to live in they say. Less cold, better beaches. I found Vancouver to be more open to new business, but Montreal reminded me more of home."

I laughed, "I can see that. What do Vassily's cousins do?"

"They are involved in real estate development. You know, make old houses go away and then put new houses in their place for more money. Vancouver has lots of old houses no one wants to live in. Sometimes they become very hard to sell. Vassily's cousins know what to do with such houses."

I laughed again, grimly this time, "I know what you mean. I have family in Vancouver too. We have an old house we wish could just go away."

Gregorii frowned. "Yes, people have much money tied up in old houses that could be put to better uses, such as investing in companies with promising new technologies, no? Vassily's cousins know how such things are done."

I looked across the seat at Vassily, who nodded sternly. Looking back at Gregorii, we shook hands.