On Dads, Daughters, and Dreams

The other day my wife and I happened to be talking about some pictures of we saw of NHL legend Bryan Trottier letting someone we knew via Twitter try on his Stanley Cup ring. It was at a bar, and Trottier didn't really know her, so for all intents and purposes, she might have been a complete stranger. Somehow my wife and I mentioned that he was probably ok with a strange woman trying on his ring, but we didn't think he'd be ok with a strange man asking to try it on (full disclosure, we don't know Trottier, maybe he would). At this, my daughter perked up her ears and asked why.

We puzzled a bit over a response. I told her that Stanley Cup rings have to be earned. The only way you get one is to win the Stanley Cup. However, since girls can't win the Stanley Cup, they can't earn a Stanley Cup ring, so it'd be ok for Trottier to let her wear one. If I had wanted to wear a Stanley Cup ring, I said, I should have learned to skate better a long time ago.

My daughter is a big Sidney Crosby fan and understands perfectly well what the Stanley Cup is, but it came as a bit of a shock to her that girls can't grow up to win the Stanley Cup. I felt bad having to break it to her. However, I also felt bad for another reason.

I suppose all parents live somewhat vicariously through their children. In some sense we want to share our own childhood dreams with them, if only to relive some of our youthful excitement as they (momentarily perhaps) take up these dreams. I realized at that it would be unfair to share my dreams of winning the Stanley Cup in this way with my daughter since this is not something she could share in fully. Sure, women's hockey has it's own cup, but it's not something that I grew up dreaming about, and yes, I could easily share my overall excitement about hockey with her (already done in fact), but if I wanted her to have a similar experience as I did, then I would need to expose her to women's hockey in the same way I grew up watching the NHL.

I don't think this fazed my daughter much though as today my wife and I talked about how Jerome Iginla let his own daughter bring his Olympic Gold Medal to her kindergarten class for show and tell. When my wife asked my daughter if she'd like her daddy to win a gold medal for her to bring to school, my daughter causally replied, "No. I'll win my own."